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By Parisa Kalantari I've heard of men hanging shoes tied together at the laces from their privates to show exactly how manly they are, but I didn't know this trick extended to household pets. Well, let me be the first to inform you there is now a new, improved addition to David Letterman's, "Stupid Pet Tricks." I recently got the rare chance to see parrots and penises unite on the Internet, which as you can imagine, is a very imaginative yet uncommon union. At first, I thought it was fairly amusing in a somewhat grotesque fashion, but then I realized little kids had the same access to this picture as I did. Normally, I don't believe in censorship of any form, but in this case, I have to because I have a 12-year-old sister who just received her own computer equipped with America Online. And frankly, the thought of her giggling over a penis with a bird on it gives me an extreme case of the willies. The solution appeared easy at first. I'd simply suggest to my parents that they get an Internet filter to baby-sit my sister while she was online. But do those filters really work? And what exactly do they block anyway? So I decided to do a little investigating. The whole thing began one rainy Thursday afternoon, as my friend Jeff and I were surfing the Web trying to pass the time, in search of nothing in particular. We were cruising along when I remembered a site a classmate had told me about called rotten.com. "You have to check out this site. It's unreal," he had said, a sly smirk giving his usually benign features a mischievous glare. With no idea of what was in store for me, I quickly brought up the site on my browser, and Jeff looked over my shoulder eagerly while I scrolled down the list of fairly ambiguous titles. One in particular caught my attention. It was called "The Bird Incident." Hmm. I clicked and the screen began its usual uploading procedures. Slowly, the picture began to develop. Both Jeff and I leaned forward, eager to examine our findings. Silence ensued. At first, there was the head of a colorful parrot, squawking happily. Then there was the rest of the bird, intact. "This isn't so bad," I thought to myself. As soon as this thought finished forming in my head, so did the rest of the picture.  |
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