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| Ted Singelis, Psychology (photo KM) |
In human exchanges, he said, nonverbal signals—how we look, sound, touch, even smell—speak louder than words. "Everything we do can carry meaning," Singelis emphasized, "yet intentionality is very important. Oftentimes we don't intend for our behavior to send a message, but it does." Not surprisingly, confusion about signals is compounded when one person is less familiar with the language and is forced to rely even more heavily on nonverbal signals. "Nonverbal communication is also difficult because it's ambiguous," Singelis continued. "You can't ask someone, `Please repeat that facial expression—I didn't quite catch the meaning.'" It's important, he said, to keep individual differences in mind—one person can look happy but be miserable while another might look glum yet feel fine. Context affects meaning as well: A whisper in church means something different from a whisper in the bedroom.
Five emotions that appear to be universally recognized, Singelis said, are happiness, sadness, disgust, anger, and fear. Individual cultures, though, can assign different meanings and values to similar gestures. The one that means "OK" in our culture, for instance—thumb and index finger forming a circle with the other fingers upraised—is regarded as somewhat salacious in Japan.
Some of the pitfalls faced by intercultural communicators include misattribution or picking up a different message from what was intended, accidentally sending the wrong signals, confusing the context, and missing signals altogether.
Sometimes crosscultural nonverbal communication functions similarly, but "different behaviors are used to fulfill the same function." In Japan, Singelis said, saying no unequivocally is almost impossible. Instead a slight tilt of the head might accompany the phrase, "I think that is highly unlikely." Gestures also help regulate interactions. Singelis got laughs when he compared Western conversation to a ping-pong game whereas the Eastern style is more like bowling. Eastern speakers are comfortable allowing a few seconds to pass between speaker and responder, but "this three seconds of silence has got to be filled by Western speakers."
"One of the most difficult, but also most important, tasks for successful intercultural nonverbal communication is sending and receiving attitudinal messages that are understood in the same way by both parties," Singelis stressed. He recounted the unfortunate experience of a Western businessman who assumed that the Asian person at the back of the room who sat with eyes closed wasn't listening to his presentation but dozing off. The businessman tossed an eraser at him—and subsequently didn't close the deal. The Asian had simply been shutting out distractions. In some cultures, eye contact, or lack of it, can denote social status, much as in a wolf pack where a subordinate animal can risk being forced to the ground for looking directly at the alpha wolf.
So is it possible to change our nonverbal behavior to become better cross cultural communicators? Yes, Singelis said, but it's not easy. We can become more aware of others' behaviors as well as our own, and delay attribution when we're uncomfortable. Cultural informants can be very useful, acting as mediators or go-betweens when communication has broken down. Finally, Singelis said, we can try to "match our behavior" to that of the culture we're in. In other words, when in Rome….
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