Abusive Relationship Checklist

Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship

Does your partner:

• Require you to get permission to hang out with your friends?
• Accuse you of cheating when you talk to or dance with strangers, or when you leave the house to run errands, etc?
• Control your money or your spending?
• Tell you that no one else would ever want you?
• Threaten to harm his or herself if you ever leave?
• Go through your purse, wallet or your mail?
• Act in a way that scares you (in public or private)?
• Use information against you that you have confided in the past?
• Sabotage your efforts to join in family or other social events?
• Compare you negatively to your peers (ie: your friend is so much skinnier and prettier than you)?
• Give you the silent treatment when you want to talk or work things out?
• Try to turn your children against you?
• View your own interests and activities as unimportant or trivial?
• Sabotage your schedule or other commitments?
• Commonly break or throw things when angry or when things do not go their way?
• Frequently express interest in your past dating history?
• Feel that there are times in a relationship when it is okay to be violent?
• Become easily angered if you are not constantly attentive to him or her?
• Drink or use drugs nearly every day, or go on periodic binges?
• Make all of the decisions?

Do you:

• Fear talking about certain topics with your partner unless they are in a good mood?
• Have to seek permission for wearing certain outfits?
• Feel nervous about being on the phone when your partner is around?
• Fear returning home later than your partner anticipated for fear of his or her reaction?
• Feel like you have more of a parent than a partner?

Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Does your partner:

• Express happiness that you have other friends (even those you do not share in common)?
• Ask for or consider your opinions?
• Both talk and listen to you?
• Have a good relationship with his or her own family?
• Have at least a few good, close friends?
• Have interests beside you?
• Respect your right to make decisions affecting your own life?
• Accept responsibility for his or her own actions rather than blaming failures on you?