Abusive Relationship Checklist

Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship

Does your partner:

  • Require you to get permission to hang out with your friends?
  • Accuse you of cheating when you talk to or dance with strangers, or when you leave the house to run errands, etc?
  • Control your money or your spending?
  • Tell you that no one else would ever want you?
  • Threaten to harm his or herself if you ever leave?
  • Go through your purse, wallet or your mail?
  • Act in a way that scares you (in public or private)?
  • Use information against you that you have confided in the past?
  • Sabotage your efforts to join in family or other social events?
  • Compare you negatively to your peers (ie: your friend is so much skinnier and prettier than you)?
  • Give you the silent treatment when you want to talk or work things out?
  • Try to turn your children against you?
  • View your own interests and activities as unimportant or trivial?
  • Sabotage your schedule or other commitments?
  • Commonly break or throw things when angry or when things do not go their way?
  • Frequently express interest in your past dating history?
  • Feel that there are times in a relationship when it is okay to be violent?
  • Become easily angered if you are not constantly attentive to him or her?
  • Drink or use drugs nearly every day, or go on periodic binges?
  • Make all of the decisions?

Do you:

  • Fear talking about certain topics with your partner unless they are in a good mood?
  • Have to seek permission for wearing certain outfits?
  • Feel nervous about being on the phone when your partner is around?
  • Fear returning home later than your partner anticipated for fear of his or her reaction?
  • Feel like you have more of a parent than a partner?

Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Does your partner:

  • Express happiness that you have other friends (even those you do not share in common)?
  • Ask for or consider your opinions?
  • Both talk and listen to you?
  • Have a good relationship with his or her own family?
  • Have at least a few good, close friends?
  • Have interests beside you?
  • Respect your right to make decisions affecting your own life?
  • Accept responsibility for his or her own actions rather than blaming failures on you?