Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships

Introduction
Domestic violence in homes affects between 3.3 million and 25 million children a year (Szyndrowski, 1999). According to Lamb and Lauritsen (1998) “child abuse, disruptions in family functioning, antisocial parents, and aggressive interactions between siblings are risk factors that are associated with adolescent aggression in schools” (as cited in Szyndrowski, 1999). With more training for staff and children in schools on domestic violence, children will be able to learn how to gain better copping skills and learn how to build healthy peer relationships. Farrington (1993) explains that violent homes are among the highest risk factor for development of antisocial behavior, such as bullying in school (as cited in Baldry, 2003). Domestic violence is a cycle that repeats itself in more than one way. Children exposed to domestic violence at times make that environment their norm and expect nothing different in other relationships that they make while growing up. The cycle of domestic violence can only be broken if the person that is involved is able to become educated on what is happening and gain a strong understanding of why this has happened and continues to happen to them.

Statement of Need
Since domestic violence has such an impact on children, my community project was to educate high school students (grades 10-12) about the affects that domestic violence has on children. I planed to teach them tools on how to build healthy relationships. I wanted to present on what is a healthy relationship versus an unhealthy relationship. During this presentation examples would be given of how a person can get help if they find themselves in a violent relationship. I also wanted to educate these students on how to help a friend if they think they are in an unhealthy relationship.

In the area that I have been doing my senior internship, I have seen the need for educating the students about domestic violence because it is a high poverty area. Wood (2003) explains that families with low incomes are forced into poverty areas where violence and crime becomes their normal environment. Quite a few of the students have been exposed to domestic violence at one time or another in their life. The staff where I am interning believe that educating the students at the high school level is important because many of the students are beginning their first real relationships. These teens need to be aware of what makes a relationship healthy versus not healthy. A study published by the Harvard School of Public Health in 2001 stated that female students in the 9th through 12th grades were asked “whether they had ever been hurt physically or sexually by a date or someone they were going out with. This would include being shoved, slapped, hit, or forced into any sexual activity” (as cited in California Attorney General’s Office and the California Department of Education, 2004, p.1). The results were that 20% of all female 9th through 12th grade students reported that they had experienced physical or sexual violence or both, from a dating partner (as cited in California Attorney General’s Office and the California Department of Education, 2004).

After giving the presentation, I planned to tell the students that I, as well as their school counselor, would be available for them if they have any concerns that they would like to discuss privately. I hoped that after I educate these students they would have a better understanding on how hard and how important it is to break the cycle of violence.

Description of the Intervention
The presentations that were given at the high school focused both on healthy relationships and on dating violence. To begin I had to do my research on violence in relationships and the different ways to explain dating violence. I also had to create a permission slip for the students to take home to their parents so that the parents were aware that their child would be exposed to this information. Although this may sound “easy” to format a permission slip, it was not. The difficult part about it was that the wording needed to be simple and to the point in order for all students to be able to participate.

At first the plan was to separate the females and males from one another so that there would be a comfort level for the students. After discussing with the students, it became apparent that they were able to feel comfortable together so that each person could hear everyone’s response. The presentations started out with a true or false quiz about different scenarios in relationships and how the couple should or would respond. During this quiz, the students spoke openly about how they felt and when there was a conflict in the true or false answers, I was able to facilitate the class in understanding and explaining why. The students were given a piece of scratch paper to write down any questions or comments that might have came up during the presentation and I collected them towards the end of the class and read them allowed to discuss with the students. This allowed students who felt more embarrassed or confused to ask questions or give comments without being placed “in the spot light.”

Evaluation of the Intervention
During the presentations the students were open and were able to share personal experiences about the relationships in their life. The explanation of domestic violence and the role that the abuser and victim have were discussed as well. It was interesting to watch the students who have some knowledge of violence explain to the other classmates about why this happens. A student spoke about how learning how to have relationships is modeled by their parents and if their parents are in an abusive relationship, then the child learns this pattern and might treat his/her partner the same way. This is only one of the many comments that were brought up by the students themselves.

At the end of each presentation I took a moment to ask the class if they felt this presentation was something that they benefited from and each class replied with “yes.” A student said that they learned more about the signs and symptoms in an abusive relationship and how to get help if they need to. Another student commented on how she felt it was important that the students hear these healthy tips to a relationship because at home some of the students do not feel comfortable talking about these things with their parents.

Reflections on the Project
This project was a great success. I was able to reach some students that have never had the chance to hear about domestic violence in a safe environment. This presentation was made in PowerPoint and will be used in the future years to be presented to the students by other staff at the high school. The teachers support in this presentation was also a positive experience because not only did they allow me to take time out of their academic schedule, they also participated in some of the discussions. The principle at the high school was thankful that I was able to provide his students with information on healthy versus non-healthy relationships in a positive atmosphere.

I believe that the knowledge I gained from my junior placement at a domestic violence program helped to provide accurate information about domestic violence and its affects on children. I hope that in the future this high school is able to reuse this information that I acquired and continue to educate their students on how to have healthy relationships.

References
Baldry, A.C. (2003). Bullying in schools and exposure to domestic violence. Child Abuse &Neglect, 27, 713-732.
California Attorney General’s Office and the California Department of Education (2004). A preventable epidemic: Teen dating violence and its impact on school safety and academic achievement. 1-5.
Szyndrowski, D. (1999). The impact of domestic violence in the schools. Preventing School Failure, 44 (1), 9-11.
Wood, D. (2003). Effect of child and family on child health in the United States. Pediatrics, 112, 707-711.