Weddings:
In order to establish a good relationship between in-laws, the betrothal of a man and a woman is done by gift exchanges. The engagement starts when the man sends information to the woman’s family about his family.
Information such the names of the man’s parents and grandparents. He would also include any prestigious title that his family members might hold. If the girl’s family approves of the boy’s family, they will send back similar information.
In receiving the response, several new questions and answers concerning the girl’s wealth and the boy’s parents will be exchanged. From here on comes the serious engagement exchanges.
The boy’s family will send jars of wine carried on a red frame, decorated with flowers to the girl’s family. The girl’s family then send back a pair of jar filled with water and 3 to 5 fishes and a pair of chopsticks.
The engagement is then done when the boy’s family send the engagement gifts such as silk and money to the girl.
The last exchanges are done about a day or two before the wedding, when the groom’s family send the bride gifts, such as hair ornaments and cosmetics and the bride’s family send the groom, men’s clothes in return.
In exchanging gifts during the engagement the two families has now built a good relationship for the future in terms of borrowing, trading and helping one another in the future.
Ancestor Worship:
Before the ceremonial act, the offering hall and the equipment used for worshipping are cleaned. The presiding man then starts a process of purification by avoiding certain foods, sex and contact with people who are mourning.
The morning of the rite, the incense, cups, tables, saucers, decanters, and other essential worship items are put in their correct spots. The worshippers then line up with men on the right side and women on the left in order of seniority.
The presiding man and woman then wash their hands and takes out tablets to give to the deceased ancestors.
The presiding man then goes to the incense table to call down the ancestral spirit. He then burns incense and bows twice. Male participants then come up to hold the wine jar in which the presiding man will use to pour onto the reeds. After pouring he will lay prostrate. He then bows twice and returns with the others.
The people in line also bow twice. Then the presiding man pours wine for each of the ancestors, and his eldest son pour for the lower-ranking associated tablets. The presiding women and her eldest daughter then serve tea to the ancestors.
The ceremonial act of worshipping ancestors concludes when the presiding man and woman bows twice before the incense table then return to the line and bow twice with the group.
They all then leave the offering hall.
It is important to recognize that with this much attention and respect for the dead ancestors the Chinese must expect something in return. In this case of worship they do expect blessings for better crops, good brides, husbands and other necessities of life. These blessings they feel will come because the ancestors are dead and are with the Ti (god). For this reason it is believed that if they keep a good relationship with the ancestors they will be helped by a higher power.
