The intellectual and emotional content of my art are informed by the particular mind-set or state of emotions I’m in when I approach the project. This either finds its way into the art consciously or unconsciously. With this particular piece it was conscious. I wanted to create a sense of playfulness and dreaminess. I was interested in exploring, and playing with, the concepts and dimensions of "self". What does "self" mean? At the same time I evoked symbols in order to reference language, and archetypal forms and shapes. I arranged these symbols in such a way so that one might see them as the dancing forms in a dreamscape. The altar-like box in the painting is significant of my recent appropriation of religious symbols in my art. The subjects in this "altar box" are metaphors for the phases of life: fertile and nurturing life on the left (Mother and Child), destruction and death in the center (Kali/Medusa), and rebirth (tree) on the right (the tree of wisdom?). I find spiritual imagery to be very powerful and loaded with meaning. I wanted to add a sign of death/mortality and of "other-worldliness" to the piece. The main subjects of the piece, women’s faces in the upper left and lower right corners, signify a duality or multiplicity of self. A waking self and dream self? The conscious and the subconscious? The emotional and the intellectual? These may all be possible interpretations of the work. Part of the psychological, emotional properties I hoped to create in this piece were of transformation, tension and calm, spirit, and balance. I want there to be an aesthetic of movement and story-telling. I’d like the art to communicate with my viewers as in a dance.
Most of what informs the context of this particulare painting is that I have chronic carpal tunnel syndrome in my right wrist. The carpal tunnel consumes my everyday. It’s the last thing I think about and feel at night and the first thing I’m aware of in the morning. I’m constantly aware of the need to "manage" and economize the use of my hands and yet I’m psychically split because I feel an intense to desire to express and create with my hands (case in point: this paper which is growing longer and longer). I painted most of this piece with my right hand, with particular attention given to the woman’s face on the right. I then finished the painting with my left hand. The face on the left was done with my left hand and I feel that it has a liveliness to it that the other lacks. These two faces represent my right and left hands, the right and left hemispheres of my brain, my rational/logical and creative/spatial sides, my need to control and my ability to "let go."
I first split my canvas into a grid of nine slightly uneven boxes. Quadrants in a way. I think of these are separate spheres or spaces of the drawing and begin to explore how they will relate to one another. I think of stories I will tell in these spaces and how the stories will weave together. I slowly compose shapes and subjects within each box. I sometimes redefine boundaries or combine two and eventually I no longer see the boxes but see the completed image in front of me with elements arranged on the page in relation to each other. I present mark-making and language through my chosen media because charcoal, pencil, and oil pastels are all drawing media. You hold these mark-making tools in you hand and can write out a sentence. Charcoal calls to mind fire and ash. A pencil is a clearly defined line (or can be) and is especially useful for writing words. Oil pastels are a smoother media, good for symbols.
I employed a variety of techniques that are among my favorites in "traditional" media and are complementary to a black and white image. Oil pastel, pencil, charcoal, airbrush, erasing and water were my main media. I like to really work the surfaces of my imagery by combining many types of media. I work the surface by first laying down a form or series of lines and then erasing part of it. Then I draw on top of it and then I might add water for a different texture. Then I’ll draw on top of it again and maybe finally airbrush it. The effects of media, one upon the other, are fascinating to me, most notably because mixed media adds to the dimension, subject and content of the artwork.
© Amaera BayLaurel 1998
Art
58 | Digital Painting
Electronic Media | Department
of Art and Art History | CSU Chico