Received With Thanks! Will Do, All best

Caroline Cooper

From: Samantha Joseph sjoseph@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org
Date: Mon, Oct 2, 2017 at 12:54 AM
Subject: Thoughts!
To: Megan McDonald mmcdonald@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org

Happy Sunday! Hope you had a nice, relaxing weekend, and are ready to start the new week at Glorious New Beginnings at full competency—and at full strength.

Teaching: From what I’ve gathered, you prefer receiving emails to talking in person, and you prefer shadowing me to doing your own, actual teaching. For those reasons and more, you should continue to closely follow my lead as your co-teacher. Please ensure you're passing out charged iPads. It’s extremely important that you know how to plug a charger in.

Scholars to Watch: Andruw and Dishon. They have been misusing the iPads and going on YouTube, according to their peers. I highly suggest putting both back on paper. I want to ensure we catch them doing the wrong thing. Hovering directly over them at all times should work.

Grading: I suggest writing scholar grades down on a piece of paper so we can keep accurate records. If you have any questions about how to write grades down on a piece of paper, let me know.

Bulletin Boards: I will take care of all bulletin boards. Glorious New sixth grade English has won every board competition for the last eight years, and we want to keep the streak going. If you have any feedback, please don’t hesitate to share! But I never make a mistake on a bulletin board, FYI.

Books: You go through and code all classroom books. Later I will review your work and correct you. Sound good? REMEMBER: Absolutely NO graphic novels. I want to ensure our room is ready for any site visit, so we aren't scrambling to make it beautiful. You know?

Routines and Transitions: Did you try the alarm thing? Did it help? Did you get the fitbit like I told you to? Let's make sure we're closely following protocol and that you are always in the hallway monitoring scholars. Do you understand?

This week's lessons:

I'll lead everything.

I need you to fully grasp everything that needs to be done for each Glorious New day to be successful. Please confirm.

See you in a few short hours!
Samantha

***

From: Megan McDonald mmcdonald@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org
Date: Tues, Oct 3, 2017 at 5:23 AM
Subject: Re: Thoughts!
To: Samantha Joseph sjoseph@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org

Received with thanks! Will do.

All best,
Megan

***

New: Text Message
From: Samantha Joseph To: Megan McDonald

text message i'm curious

***

From: Samantha Joseph sjoseph@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org
Date: Thurs, Oct 19, 2017 at 1:32 PM
Subject: PLEASE DO NOT
To: Megan McDonald mmcdonald@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org

DISTRIBUTE GLITTER STICKS TO SCHOLARS. I buy these glitter sticks and I decide on their use. You gave one to Kelvin, who hasn’t even completed a single Scholars Ready assignment.

***

From: Megan McDonald mmcdonald@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org Date: Thurs, Oct 19, 2017 at 2:02 PM
Subject: Re: PLEASE DO NOT
To: Samantha Joseph sjoseph@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org

Thank you, Samantha. I will be more mindful of asking Kelvin better questions about his glitter stick needs.

Thank you again and best,
Megan

***

From: Samantha Joseph sjoseph@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org>
Date: Mon, Oct 23, 2017 at 11:11 AM
Subject: Re: Where are you?
To: Megan McDonald mmcdonald@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org

Megan—

Leaving to print materials during class is an inappropriate misuse both of school resources and scholar potential. You are currently in the front office printing scholar materials. Return to Room 241 immediately for redirection. I am extremely disappointed in this flagrant breach of protocol.

***

From: Megan McDonald mmcdonald@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org
Date: Mon, Oct 23, 2017 at 11:12 AM
Subject: Re: Where are you?
To: Samantha Joseph sjoseph@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org

Yes but now I am also in the bathroom. I hope it is okay I am currently using the bathroom.

***

From: Samantha Joseph sjoseph@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org
Date: Mon, Oct 23, 2017 at 11:13 AM
Subject: Re: Where are you?
To: Megan McDonald mmcdonald@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org
CC: Max Hoover mhoover@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org

Megan—

I know you can hear me. I’m beating on the door. Open up. You cannot sit in the bathroom. I have copied Mr. Hoover, your direct supervisor. I will seek immediate administrative intervention if you don’t open up by 11:15 AM EST. This is unacceptable.

***

From: Samantha Joseph sjoseph@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org
Date: Mon, Oct 23, 2017 at 11:15 AM
Subject: Re: Where are you?
To: Megan McDonald mmcdonald@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org
CC: Max Hoover mhoover@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org
CC: Priscilla Hankins phankins@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org

Max and I are now in the hall with custodial services. We are prepared to remove the restroom door. Teacher restroom use is at the discretion of the lead teacher. I am the lead teacher. I did not approve this usage.

Principal Hankins has authorized me to terminate your Glorious New employment.

***

From: Jonathan Walder jwalder@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org
Date: Mon, Oct 23, 2017 at 11:27 AM
Subject: She’s not in there
To: Priscilla Hankins phankins@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org
CC: Megan McDonald mmcdonald@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org
CC: Max Hoover mhoover@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org
CC: Samantha Joseph sjoseph@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org

Dear Principal Hankins,

I hope you are enjoying your seminar “Think Like a Snake: Coiling the Theory and Practice of School Leadership”!

Today, Megan McDonald engaged in unauthorized use of the second floor restroom. A few minutes ago, Max went ahead and removed the door. We were all surprised to find Ms. McDonald was not, in fact, in the restroom. We are currently conducting a thorough check of all facilities. Please advise.

#GloriousNewGloriousYou!!

Warmly,
Johnny

***

From: Priscilla Hankins phankins@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org
Date: Mon, Oct 23, 2017 at 11:32 AM
Subject: Re: She’s not in there
To: Jonathan Walder jwalder@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org
CC: Max Hoover mhoover@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org>
CC: Samantha Joseph sjoseph@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org
CC: Megan McDonald mmcdonald@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org

Johnny—
Proceed immediately with cancellation of McDonald’s state teaching license and report on campus presence of rogue teacher to local authorities. If McDonald is not located by 11:40 AM, proceed to hard lockdown. I’m on my way, confirm receipt of instruction.

***

From: Jonathan Walder jwalder@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org
Date: Mon, Oct 23, 2017 at 11:36 AM
Subject: Got it!
To: Priscilla Hankins phankins@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org
CC: Megan McDonald mmcdonald@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org
CC: Max Hoover mhoover@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org
CC: Samantha Joseph sjoseph@schoolofgloriousnewbeginnings.org

Received with thanks! Will do.

All best,
Johnny

Author Portrait

Caroline Cooper is a teacher in the English Department at City College of New York. Her work has appeared in Guernica, The South China Morning Post, The Washington Post, The Farmer General, Tank Magazine, and on National Public Radio (NPR). She was a 2017 summer writer-in-residence at the Rivendell Writers Colony in Tennessee.

View the website of Caroline Cooper