Disclosure Support

Offering Support To Those Who Disclose Sexual Assault/ Intimate Partner Violence/ Stalking

DO

• Listen and be there without judgment
  • "I believe you and it is not your fault."
• Offer to go with them to report the incident if they decide that they want to
  • "You are not alone. I want to help you get through this in any way that I can."
• Encourage them to get support
• Be patient because there is no timeline in recovering from trauma
• Emphasize the importance of practicing self-care
• Be consistent, if you can
• Validate their emotions – there is no "normal way" to respond to trauma
• Empower them to make decisions for themselves
• Refer them to resources

DON'T

• Tell them how it's their fault, because the only person who is at fault is the person who perpetrated the harm
• Tell anyone else what happened unless they ask you to
• Pressure them into reporting or tell them it is their responsibility to
• Threaten to hurt the person who hurt them

As a friend...

• You are the most common confidant
• It is normal to struggle with your own emotions when told or to even be triggered from your own past experiences
• Blaming your friend that was attacked, will lead to a loss of trust
• It is important to not tell your friend what to do. Interpersonal violence is about power and control, so it is important for your friend to be empowered to make their own decisions

For faculty and staff...

• Provide support to the student by believing them and not pressuring them to explain details of the abuse
• Make sure your students know that you are a mandated reporter and let them know about the two confidential resources (Safe Place and Counseling and Wellness Center)
• “Thank you so much for trusting me. I want to let you know that I do have to report this to the Title IX office, but you have control over what you do with that report. They will send a letter to your Wildcat email with resources and information.”
• “I can imagine how difficult it was to disclose that information. I believe you and appreciate you telling me. I do need to let you know that I must give this information to the Title IX office, and they will be reaching out with a letter of resources and information. You are in control over whether you move forward with reporting or not, but I must report to fulfill my reporting obligations.”
• Report to Title IX by calling 530-898-4949 and providing any information you recall. You do not need to ask the student for details, names, or further questions.
• If you are concerned with how to best support the student or struggling with emotions, then you can call or email Safe Place to consult and receive support.
• Remember that you do not have to be a counselor to provide support

As a parent...

• It is natural to want to take control of the situation
• It is important to give your child the power to control the situation since they had no power or control when the assault took place
• Try not to be upset if it took some time for your child to reach out and tell you